Fulfilling Year 30

I'm one month away from fulfilling year 30. I thought 30 years old sounded old but geeze, 31 is legit. Official. Sealed. That's okay though. Year 30 has been the best year yet. I know, big statement. I've finally arrived at a happy place in life. I'm single and having fun (maybe a little too much). I finally make enough money to enjoy a nice dinner out with friends and maybe even splurge on a pair of shoes in the same week. I'm beginning to love that I have this moment in time to live on my own. I learned, the hard way, that I am happy with my job, for this point in my life. I am more self-aware than ever: I'm still damaged but at least I know it and that helps me to confront why I am (something I didn't possess 5 years ago). To my surprise, I discovered that I'm still a party girl at heart (not a grandma like I tried to convince everyone for a minute) and I should never suppress that part of me ever again. Not for anyone. Even when I have children, we will dance. I still haven't found the man of my dreams or whatever the F you call it when you meet someone you're willing to compromise your life for, but then again I haven't really tried. Maybe year 31 is when I'll have my epiphany about relationships, the same way I had my epiphany about getting old: that it doesn't have to be a bad experience. We'll see. I have recognized that this is the one time in my life that things will be this simple, even if it doesn't seem so at moments. I am starting to believe that my hard work has achieved great accomplishments (w/ a therapist's help of course), but ultimately, I am grateful for the privileged life I have, no matter how screwed up I think I am. I'm probably more scared now turning 31 than I was turning 30. But only because of what I think other people's expectations are from me. For the moment, I am going to party my 30 year old ass off, right into age 31.

I'm legit

I'm two months into year 30. I'm almost at that point where I can't say "I just turned 30." I'm legitimately just plain 30. And I've discovered that it sounds very respectable.

And it's here

Last week I found out I had to travel to Nashville for work. Luckily I have some really great co-worker friends out here and in tow. But who would have thought, here I'd be, spending my 30th with clients and co-workers in Nashville. Everyone kept asking how I felt today. I don't know, the same as yesterday? Maybe after all this wedding and travel hoopla, I'll start feeling something. For now, I'm just tired and want to be in the comforts of home. Even if it's just for a day, before I take off for another wedding weekend.

One Week to B-Day

And I think there will be so much other stuff happening I won't even notice.

Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival

Fun discovery: This year's Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival (also known as Moon Festival or Lantern Festival,) lands on my birthday, September 22, 2010. It falls on the 15th day of the 8th lunisolar month.

Mid-Autumn Festival is a time of reuniting with family and celebrating life and happiness. In my family, there is usually a dinner if not party involved the weekend before or after. I've missed more than a few of course.

I've been feeling a bit down and poopy about carving time to celebrate my 30th (as you can tell from this blog). With all the wedding festivities, it just seems like there's enough celebrating (not to mention planning) to manage. What's to celebrate anyway- My eggs drying up? But maybe there is something to celebrate. I never really intend on my birthday get-togethers to be about me. It's just an excuse to get all my friends together and have fun. I like what Mid-Autumn Festival stands for and I think I'd like to carry-out the tradition. After all, I am becoming a real adult (or something like that) and tradition is important to observe.

How did this all come about? From the mini moon cake I ate this morning.

30 days to 30

Sadly I've made no progress and I have nothing to report.

It's especially difficult for a woman to turn 30 when single.