Apparently Silly Bandz are the new fad, and I had no idea until I was educated by the early-twenties group in the office this week.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
I can still hang
Exciting achievements this past weekend. Drank 10 straight hours, having one meal in between, and only suffered mild hangover. This extravaganza involved a house party where the gays and the girls took turns whirling around a stripper pole in the living room. The evening lead me to my first WeHo gay club experience where I got to dance the night away w/ out the worry of bad dancing sleezy dudes trying to thrust their pelvis in every chick the dance floor. Instead it's just me and the G's, dancing the night away and letting go every inhibition. Because it just doesn't matter! By the way, why can't God make the straight ones hot and rhythmically capable?
Peeled myself off of my friend's couch at 6am and stopped by the grocery store to pick up pasta salad ingredients for the Sunday Funday picnic I was hosting in a matter of hours. Now THAT is a big girl move. I can party my ass off and still host a proper picnic. I'm almost ready to be a big girl. Almost.
Peeled myself off of my friend's couch at 6am and stopped by the grocery store to pick up pasta salad ingredients for the Sunday Funday picnic I was hosting in a matter of hours. Now THAT is a big girl move. I can party my ass off and still host a proper picnic. I'm almost ready to be a big girl. Almost.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
When I Grow Up
At work I'm one of the "older" ones on the team. Granted I work in a very young industry, but wow, I'm already that person. When I was at my first job, I remember looking up to my now friend, then co-worker MLE who was 27 years old. I thought to myself "Wow I hope to be just like her when I grow up." In many ways I succeeded the dream but it's weird to think I'm in that position now. Well I could only hope the younglings see an aspirational quality in me, but I wouldn't be offended if they didn't. Ha.
MLE is now happily married and with newborn. Reading one of MLE's favorite quotes puts it in larger, more honest perspective for me:
MLE is now happily married and with newborn. Reading one of MLE's favorite quotes puts it in larger, more honest perspective for me:
“The definition of success: To laugh much; to win respect of intelligent persons and the affections of children; to earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give one's self; to leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition.; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm, and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived--this is to have succeeded.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Outgrowing Outfits
I get really into themed occasions. I have this patriotic shirt that an ex-boyfriend's friend made. He bought it for me. She was an aspiring clothing designer. I was 24 and loved the funkiness of it. I wear it once a year for July 4th, along with this necklace that has a stars and stripes flip-flop pendant. Last weekend I wore this ensemble to the fourth of July party. I got a lot of comments on the shirt but for the first time it made me feel juvenile. Especially when every other person (literally) was holding a baby or toddler. I decided this would be the last time I wear this shirt, for several reasons. (I'm keeping the flip-flop pendant.) Plus it just doesn't fit the way it used to (I'm too womanly for it now). The stars and stripes shirt retires for a good cause. What that cause is I haven't quite figured out. Becoming an adult, not dating emotionally unavailable guys, or something like that. Don't get me wrong, I'll always have weird clothing. This one I've just out grown. Just like that boyfriend.
For Dudes - What to expect
One man's take on life after you turn 30. This is for the guys.
http://www.blacktable.com/ajbirthday.htm
"HERE ARE 10 THINGS TO EXPECT AFTER YOU TURN 30."
1. Lest you forget, everyone you know will remind you that you indeed are fucking old. They're not just giving you a hard time. This in fact is true. You are old.
2. You are now officially too old to be characterized in the press and in critical circles as a "rising star" of avant guard journalism or cultural commentary. That plaudit is for young guys -- guys in their 20s -- whose genius is so precocious they actually develop a sphere of influence all to themselves. College co-eds -- English majors and journalism students -- secretly doodle in their journals about fellating those guys just to be close to the genius. They also make notes in their journals about how guys like you creep them out. They wonder why you're not married.
3. On the upside, you needn't be too concerned about those co-eds anymore. As you progress from 30 to 31 and on to 32, your desire to actually sleep with them will drop precipitously. The healthy post-college-aged guy you once were -- cruising Manhattan any night of the week on booze-fueled sex junkets -- is now the cautious, chronically tired guy of Rolaids commercials and NPR call-in shows. I would tell you this change happens gradually, that you still have 18 months of Wednesday night beer specials and post-2 a.m. bong hits with Kelly and Christina, but in fact you should start feeling the effects by Tuesday.
4. 401K. These four characters were nothing more than unique keys on your Dell yesterday. Tomorrow they will take on a daunting significance that clouds your creativity like charcoal-grey cumulonimbi threatening the Merry Retirement Trailer Community in western Pennsylvania. Overnight, financial desparation switches from sexy artist cachet to a mark of blandness and failure. Is it true you don't yet own a condo?
5. You're only 5 years away from your first prostrate exam. Let's get fired up!
6. Speaking of doctors, start scheduling more time for them in your Microsoft Outlook calendar. Organized sports are out of the question at your age, and yes, it's true, you really have been smoking for almost two decades now.
7. No, what you're hearing on that kid's radio in Washington Park is not some Outkast B-side. It's actually a whole new breed of hip hop/trance fusion that you had no idea exists. Yes, I agree, it does sound awfully loud.
8. Remember when you laughed your ass off at Chris Rock's "old guy in the club" bit? (No seriously, I'm asking you... do you remember that? I mean it was quite some time ago. Sometimes those things slip.)
9. Hangovers: they're more than just myth.
10. Starting in 24 hours, you are officially closer to 40 than to 20. How're they hanging now, kid?
R A Miller is the editor of Will Leitch's Life As a Loser book. He remembers turning 30 -- and hasn't remembered a thing since.
http://www.blacktable.com/ajbirthday.htm
"HERE ARE 10 THINGS TO EXPECT AFTER YOU TURN 30."
AJ:
Somebody we know told me you're turning 30 tomorrow. I'd congratulate you, but frankly, I don't have a goddamn nice thing to say about it. I do, however, take perverse delight in telling you what you can expect or should keep in mind:1. Lest you forget, everyone you know will remind you that you indeed are fucking old. They're not just giving you a hard time. This in fact is true. You are old.
2. You are now officially too old to be characterized in the press and in critical circles as a "rising star" of avant guard journalism or cultural commentary. That plaudit is for young guys -- guys in their 20s -- whose genius is so precocious they actually develop a sphere of influence all to themselves. College co-eds -- English majors and journalism students -- secretly doodle in their journals about fellating those guys just to be close to the genius. They also make notes in their journals about how guys like you creep them out. They wonder why you're not married.
3. On the upside, you needn't be too concerned about those co-eds anymore. As you progress from 30 to 31 and on to 32, your desire to actually sleep with them will drop precipitously. The healthy post-college-aged guy you once were -- cruising Manhattan any night of the week on booze-fueled sex junkets -- is now the cautious, chronically tired guy of Rolaids commercials and NPR call-in shows. I would tell you this change happens gradually, that you still have 18 months of Wednesday night beer specials and post-2 a.m. bong hits with Kelly and Christina, but in fact you should start feeling the effects by Tuesday.
4. 401K. These four characters were nothing more than unique keys on your Dell yesterday. Tomorrow they will take on a daunting significance that clouds your creativity like charcoal-grey cumulonimbi threatening the Merry Retirement Trailer Community in western Pennsylvania. Overnight, financial desparation switches from sexy artist cachet to a mark of blandness and failure. Is it true you don't yet own a condo?
5. You're only 5 years away from your first prostrate exam. Let's get fired up!
6. Speaking of doctors, start scheduling more time for them in your Microsoft Outlook calendar. Organized sports are out of the question at your age, and yes, it's true, you really have been smoking for almost two decades now.
7. No, what you're hearing on that kid's radio in Washington Park is not some Outkast B-side. It's actually a whole new breed of hip hop/trance fusion that you had no idea exists. Yes, I agree, it does sound awfully loud.
8. Remember when you laughed your ass off at Chris Rock's "old guy in the club" bit? (No seriously, I'm asking you... do you remember that? I mean it was quite some time ago. Sometimes those things slip.)
9. Hangovers: they're more than just myth.
10. Starting in 24 hours, you are officially closer to 40 than to 20. How're they hanging now, kid?
R A Miller is the editor of Will Leitch's Life As a Loser book. He remembers turning 30 -- and hasn't remembered a thing since.
Monday, July 12, 2010
150 Things To do Before you Turn Thirty
Year 30 is quickly approaching for me and I feel like I'm wasting away my last summer in my twenties, so it's time I develop some tasks to accomplish before 9.22.2010. This first exercise is a popular list from the bloggersphere. You can tell from a few that this originated from a computer geek.
150 Things To Do Before You Turn Thirty
Bold= Done
Italics= Want to do
*Personal commentary
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink *Anyone know of a 10 person capacity bar?
02. Swam with dolphins *I was in the ocean when dolphins swam by, does that count?
03. Climbed a mountain *I climbed The Great Wall of China. It beats a mountain.
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula *Hell no
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk *More than my share
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sang karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football *Yes people, in middle school =)
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theatre
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie *Does music video count?
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on a television news program as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children *Not before I'm 30 obviously
97. Followed your favourite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken a bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking with the windows open
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication *The Rancho Bernardo Sun counts right?
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart *I really don't know
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating *Fish!
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life
150 Things To Do Before You Turn Thirty
Bold= Done
Italics= Want to do
*Personal commentary
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink *Anyone know of a 10 person capacity bar?
02. Swam with dolphins *I was in the ocean when dolphins swam by, does that count?
03. Climbed a mountain *I climbed The Great Wall of China. It beats a mountain.
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula *Hell no
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk *More than my share
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sang karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football *Yes people, in middle school =)
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theatre
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie *Does music video count?
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on a television news program as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children *Not before I'm 30 obviously
97. Followed your favourite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken a bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking with the windows open
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication *The Rancho Bernardo Sun counts right?
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart *I really don't know
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating *Fish!
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Welcome to my pity party
I'll be in two weddings the week of my 30th birthday. They're sandwiching my birthday (it's a Wednesday) which means I won't be able to celebrate until the following weekend. I don't even know if I feel my 30th year in life warrants a celebration but I just wanted to point it out.
The first wedding- a bridesmaid, the second- the Maid of Honor.
When I was a pubescent pre-teen, playing MASH, I never imagined that I would be single and a bridesmaid in two weddings on the week of my 30th birthday. The Universe can be so cruel sometimes.
Yes, this is my pity party. Welcome.
The first wedding- a bridesmaid, the second- the Maid of Honor.
When I was a pubescent pre-teen, playing MASH, I never imagined that I would be single and a bridesmaid in two weddings on the week of my 30th birthday. The Universe can be so cruel sometimes.
Yes, this is my pity party. Welcome.
Confronting 30
The fact that I'm turning 30 very soon as been ever present in my mind since I turned 29, but with 73 days left of my twenties, I'm realizing that I really haven't been doing anything that I set out to do when I turned 29. So now until September 22, 2010, I'll be doing some reflecting, goal setting, and documenting accomplishments.
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